3 Comments

Feminism Wow! A Great Week & Some Frank Dude Indictments.

Bitchin' Sweater. barb.howe from Flickr.

I’ve been a lot more feminist lately.  I’ve been pretty angry at men.  I think the impetus is all this hateful rhetoric about a woman’s right to choose that’s been aflame among the tea partying types.  That it’s even a question pisses me off and totally mystifies me.  Similar with homosexual marriage.  Why is it even a thing?  Live and let live.  Anybody should be able to marry anybody else, so long as it makes them happy and they’re not hurting anybody.

That anyone still thinks Dr. Nerdlove’s theory of Male Privilege is wrong,  is evidence of the hapless man brain having been influenced from birth by our largely misogynist culture.

I realized something about my young self today as I had a conversation I always wanted to have with my sisters (or that I always wanted some older, worldly woman to have with me) with a young woman.

I was able to tell her a thing I wish someone had told me, and while it’s crass, especially in junior high, it is absolutely true, and I am pretty sure almost any man would cop to it:

A dude will say just about anything if he thinks there’s even a remote chance that you’ll take off you clothes around him, hell, if he thinks he might get to palm your breast.  Over clothes.  So especially beware of platitudes without context.

Once upon a time, I had guilt about being a feminist.  In my very young youth (teenage years, when I was still pickled by the ideas of the Christians I’d been reared by), I would’ve actually blamed myself or other women for the misdeeds of a man.  If those women just loved him more, or gave him more sex, or trusted God more, or dressed less slutty, their man wouldn’t have had to hit them or go on a bender or beat their kids.

I’m overstating for effect, people.  I’ve never been that caliber of nitwit.  But thought things along those lines.

Here are two true things that occurred to me today:

1.  Christian mythology absolutely gives man carte blanche to blame women for all of his misdeeds and shortcomings.  “Really, God.  Eve did it.  Eve tempted me with the apple.  I’m powerless against her wiles.”

2.  That notion is so incredibly pervasive, that it stops men from dealing with the real reasons they do things.  “Wah wah wah, I’m an irresponsible drunk, but it’s not my fault because some girl I knocked up didn’t get an abortion like I told her to, and I just can’t live knowing there’s some little kid out there who doesn’t have my last name.”  But there’re clearly bigger problems than women for this penis holder.  What’s the source of his self loathing?  What would drive him to tie a noose?  In his last living breath, he would blame “that bitch.”  But what if he looked deeper into himself for the psychic answer to that question?  For the root of his misery that would drive him to slog off, a petulant ninny, when a woman he was only too happy to put his penis into had the nerve to choose not to abort, despite his whining and temper tantrums?

But two things happened on the internet this week that I feel particularly heartened and encouraged to be more aggressively feminist by.

Ashley Judd spoke out about how distasteful she finds the endless critique of her value as an object of desire to be.

Ms. Judd, though your rail wasn’t as eloquent as I wanted it to be (I wanted you to be Nobel bright. I’ll take 3.0 bright, though.), you said something that more people like you should say.  Sing it.

Donald Trump lobbied on behalf of a transgendered woman who wanted to be Miss Universe.

And Mr. Trump?  I’m a cynical man-hater this week, so I’m sure you did it for capitalist reasons, but f*cking yes!  Thank you!  I don’t get it, but women who want to be Miss Universe, regardless of whether they are biologically female or not, should ABSOLUTELY be allowed to.

That’s all I got for you peeps today.  I’m going to go the the Comic Con tomorrow and dig up some Bust worthy material.  Feminist Geek Journalism, here I come.

And finally, before I depart, thanks blog readers for making this one of the most successful blog weeks in the (short) history of my serious blogging.  Good times.  Good times.

Don’t forget, I’m on twitter @AprilLineWriter, and click “Like” over there on the April Line Writing Facebook Fan page.

<3

3 comments on “Feminism Wow! A Great Week & Some Frank Dude Indictments.

  1. I’m pro-choice, but I don’t get when people frame the abortion issue like there’s only one side that’s right. No, people who are pro-choice don’t like killing babies, and people who are pro-life don’t hate women. It’s not like gay marriage, where you can easily say just let them get married and leave them alone, because there are two potential lives involved, the mother’s and the unborn child’s. I’m not defending people who want to define life at conception, because that’s CLEARLY mistaken, but it seems unreasonable to say life begins at birth instead. I imagine it would begin somewhere between those two extremes, but I don’t know where. I think it’s a legitimately tough issue, which is why I respect both sides. It just always seemed like a tough issue to me. Maybe I only think that because I don’t have ovaries, but I don’t think that’s the case.

    And the part when you say anyone who disagrees with Dr. Nerdlove is evidence of being brainwashed by our misogynist culture is just… wow. That’s like when the tea party types you don’t like say the fact that anyone voted for obama is proof of the imminent muslim-communist uprising. It just makes you sound ignorant and shuts down conversation; people disagreeing with me? Oh, that’s just evidence that I’m right, so there. :/

    • I considered not approving this comment. I think that this is definitely a trollish comment, but it’s disguised as being thoughtful. Still, I think that the commenter was at least trying to evince a sympathetic tone, but was looking for an excuse to call me ignorant because he was annoyed by my observation that men would rather be angry with women than introspect.

      It’s clear that the commenter didn’t read closely from his assertion that I’ve framed the abortion issue like there’s only one side that’s right. It’s also clear that this particular post is the only thing this commenter has read on my blog. If he had read anything else, he would know that I do not take hard lines on pro choice, either. Nor did I in the post on which he has commented. So, I’m just going to skip over that bit and say this:

      Actually, doctors and scientists have studied where life begins in the unborn (go figure). A fetus is viable (that is, can survive outside its mother) at 24 weeks of gestation. Gestation technically begins the first day of the woman’s last period, even though a sperm can survive inside a woman’s body for 14 days before implanting itself into an egg, and even though ovulation generally occurs about mid-way through a woman’s menstrual cycle, first day bleeding to first day bleeding. Others say that life begins at 13 weeks, when you can discern the sex. There are lots of bits of evidence and science that can be logically interpreted in different ways, and lots of opinions on the matter, and I would suggest that it is much easier for a person who has never had to deal with the issue of choice first hand (that is, being one in a pair who share a pregnancy in either shitty circumstances or bad timing or whatever), to be self righteous, and accuse a blogger of ignorance when one can’t be bothered to do a quick web search about the science of choice, behind the anonymity of the web.

      I will also say that sometimes people respond with anger when they are confronted with truth, or with something that asks them to look deep and hard at themselves. I am no exception. I get downright pissed and defensive when someone tells me I’m doing something wrong. After those feelings subside, though, in most cases, I can take a step back and see the validity in the person’s observation and work on that in myself. I also usually apologize for my anger and defensiveness.

      So clearly something in my assertion about Dr. Nerdlove’s observations (which I refer to so often because I imagine it’s easier for people in geek/nerd culture to hear from one of their own) being spot on, and my framing them in the overstated, humorous way scrubbed this person whose moniker is madfoot the wrong way. I suspect though that the person had an easier time coming up with some arrogant quip to the Nerdlove sentence than the bit where I suggested that women are not at the root of every single one of men’s problems. Still, dissent is great, and nothing increases readership like some hot-headed discourse. So I’m glad to have angered Ye of Angry Ankle Dressing.

  2. [...] you read here regularly, you know that I’ve been feeling a little bit militant about injustices toward women and the way we American women seem to be keeping ourselves in these [...]

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