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The New Social Security: How to Have a Better Love Relationship

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Blah Blah Gallup Poles, Gen Xers have no faith in the government, Social Security is not going to be available to us, etc, etc, etc.

Do I know if that’s true?

No.

Do I care?  Frankly?  Not now.  I am a little myopic about money.  Save your judgement.  I know.  I should be saving, putting a minimum of $5K/year into an IRA, etc, etc, etc.  You’re right.  But I don’t have an extra $5K/year, and frankly, it’s healthier for me if I just don’t think about it.  I could worry myself an ulcer over all of this.  What I have is faith that it and I will get better, and plugging away at this freelance thing as hard as I’ve been for another couple years can only yield positive financial results.

But given the horrid state of our financial affairs as a country, I can say with confidence that my financial short-sightedness will probably not be assuaged by my government in another 34 years when I am the age that is deemed to be old enough, but by then it will probably be older.  Who knows if I’ll even live to be Social Security age?

If I do, I know that Social Security will not provide ENOUGH money for me to live on.

So it occurs to me this morning, as I look at this hilarious poster about sailing gloriously into old age with tight skin and ruddy good health (laf!), that the new Social Security IS, ahem, marriage!

No wonder the republicans are so crazy about protecting it!  Well, Republicans, I am happy to inform you that in the spirit of rebellion, I will not be utilizing your social institution in its most ideal configuration.

But this strikes me as a BRILLIANT opportunity to share with you, fair blog readers, a trick that I recently learned that can really make your love relationship better.  And who knows?  Maybe it’ll make it better enough to sail you into old age with tight skin and ruddy good health!

This is the trick:

Take a fast from Television.

Me and Fella were watching TV every night.  Snuggled up on the couch, nice nice.  But wanna know what we weren’t doing?  Talking.

Every self-help cliche of which I am aware says that success in love relationships necessitates talking.  So for the past 72 hours that Fella and I have not watched TV, we have talked a ton.  It’s been really nice.

And it’s true about talking.  If you don’t talk to you partner, you can forget why you like them.

Here is another trick:

W. Somerset Maugham wrote this book that changed my life when I was seventeen.  Of Human Bondage.  One of the lines I’ve remembered, and that has served me well in analyzing and navigating love relationships as well as close friendships:  “There is always the one who loves, and the one who allows himself to be loved.”

Figure out which one you are and act the part.  If you are the one who loves, you have to be willing to change yourself and accept non-change from your partner.

If you are the one who allows him/herself to be loved, you have to be willing to accept a partner who may not always be exactly as you would like, but who loves the hell out of you.

There is a necessary non-balance here, and partners in successful, long-term love relationships learn to accept these non-balances, to thrive within them.

Have I got all this ironed out personally?  Nope.

But it strikes me as a thing to strive for: a long term love relationship that is full of compromise and heartache and happiness and low times and high times, because in the end, what else will we have?  Money does not buy friends.  At least not real ones.

What about you?  Do you have a love relationship survival tip?

6 comments on “The New Social Security: How to Have a Better Love Relationship

  1. Glad you enjoyed Of Human Bondage.

  2. Thanks for the update. I really appreciate the efforts you have made for this blog.

  3. [...] Also, it’s stuff to do together that’s a) at home–tough to wrangle time away from home when you’ve got a kid whose bed time is 7:30, and b) not TV. [...]

  4. [...] Also, it’s an activity to do together that’s a) at home—it’s tough to wrangle time away from home when you’ve got a kid whose bedtime is 7:30—and b) not TV. [...]

  5. […] Also, it’s an activity to do together that’s a) at home—it’s tough to wrangle time away from home when you’ve got a kid whose bedtime is 7:30—and b) not TV. […]

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